Quiet Reflection and Silent Adjustments

The day after your daughter spreads her wings and leaves the nest, the reflections, the adjustments.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times;

it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness;

it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity;

it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness;

it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair;

we had everything before us, we had nothing before us"

~ A Tale of Two Cities ~ Charles Dickens

A sigh let out and the fingers move across the keyboard as the last few days are reflected upon.  A single father of a 19 year old daughter reflects and ponders on the next hour.  The 19 yr old flies off to south east Texas to join her soon to be 17 year old brother and mother, a new chapter for unfolds.

I call it the best seat in the house the last 9 years, as I had the honor and privilege of being a father and watched her turn into a young, beautiful and smart woman.  

Both children I love deeply but my son grew up much of his young life with my ex-wife, mother of both.  He is also a young, handsome and smart teenager soon to be joining our armed forces and I am so very proud of him.  He celebrates his 17th birthday next Friday as his sister celebrated her 19th birthday 11 days ago here with me and friends.

The day was coming as she announced that she would be moving to Texas, I knew this for a few months.

I was filled with many emotions, sadness of course the most. I was starting the journey of the 5 stages of grief and I knew little how they would hit me as the months passed by.

I shared hockey games and dined with her and she stated "I wanted to see a hockey game and you took me to many."  I have a way of doing that.  

The day before she was to leave and the last day of her high school experience I picked her up at her job at the same elementary school that I enrolled her in all those years before.

She had the same stride and skip in her step as she did all those years ago just a little wider and faster.  I greeted her with flowers as I did on the day of her graduation last year. Last years bouquet red roses and baby breath and this year  yellow roses and flowers of purple and others that blended so well.  The yellow rose of Texas and her favorite colors blended in well.

The day was so very hard for me.  I had a heavy curtain of sadness as the final day was here.  I likened the feeling and describe it this way   A tall glass of water in a glass so clear that the water just hangs at the rim and a drop would cause it to overflow.  Well the day started with a storm of emotion and the storm poured down on my glass and overcame it did.  A storm that I knew was coming but was not prepared for.

How do you express the 9 years into words, flowers and a card can not do it, a stuffed dog in a gift bag can't do it.  No words at a restaurant over a meal are enough. Not nearly enough.

I gave all the advice I could think of.  

Be nice to your brother, be kind to others, listen to a potential boyfriend but watch his actions with even more attention. Those matter the most.  Don't every quit, don't let your smile fade and always laugh a little everyday.  Love always even when its hard.  Be filled with adventure, dream and watch those dreams come true with action and plans.  Stay hungry and stay foolish and let life unfold on your terms.  One final word always know that I love you.

The trip to the airport was hard but acceptance was starting to creep in and as I watched her board the plane I told her good bye, told her again I love you and lastly thank you for being my best friend and daughter.  Her wings spread as did the plane and on this chilly sunny day the plane taxied away and off into the sky.

I spoke with my ex her mom and we chatted with kindness and mutual respect as we often did.  I told her we both did a great job with both of our kids.  The are uniquely different and both are so very awesome, bright and good looking.  Both are kind and both have common sense and both have a unique way of getting through life.  A couple proud parents talking and reflecting as the plane heads west.

I pulled away from the parking lot, paid the parking fee and went east back to work as the silent adjustments unfold.

Do I still feel some sadness, sure I do but a sense of pride and a heart filled with love will allow that water to pour out into the past as I live for today and adjust for tomorrow.

May your quiet reflections and silent adjustments be filled with pride and love and a smile on your face.

God Bless and Smiles sent your way .

Victor V. Yakin

www.makemesmileonline.com

Walking Through Wednesday *New* ~July 06, 2011

A very happy Wednesday to you and yes the middle of the week as arrived. A few days to the weekend and yes many of you just had a 3 day weekend a day ago, how good does this week get?

I know it is hard to believe but there are many who went to work on Tuesday and felt exhausted, and frustrated that Tuesday was really that Monday of a shortened work week.  They could not get over the idea that they had to work 4 days just to get to the weekend. I just hope that person was not you.

I mean come on, a four day work week. Lets be happy, cheerful and full of energy.  Lets have that gratitude attitude that says what a wonderful day, look at the awesome creations right outside the door and 'I' get to share in them.

It is the choices we make that makes us feel happiness or joy.

So what choices are you about to make today?  Choose wisely not just for yourself but for those around you : )

It is really all about the choices we make each morning and how we choose to walk through our day. One step at a time, one smile and kind word gently place before another.

Don't forget to start this process with you, the person in the mirror, the one who has the power to choose.

My thoughts for the new format for this post is around adversity that at times we all feel but many times we have created.  On Wednesday I set aside this day to inspire you to overcome and focus on a more positive outcome.

This quote will start us out on the subject of perception:

Reality is what we take to be true.

What we take to be true is what we believe.

What we believe is based upon our perceptions.

What we perceive depends upon what we look for.

What we look for depends upon what we think.

What we think depends upon what we perceive.

What we perceive determines what we believe.

What we believe determines determines what we take to be true.

What we take to be true is our reality.

~ Gary Zukav

So how do we truly view this word perception and reality.  I have heard this quote that says perception is everything and I submit and addition to that quote:

Perception is everything

But your own perception matters little

In life we interact with others, we don't hide out in a bubble.

We have our partners, spouses, children, co workers and friends.

We have so many interactions and everyone has their own beliefs and perceptions of their own reality.

But truly we have 2 ears and one mouth.

The quote seek first to understand before we can be understood fits in how we interact with another persons perception and reality.

Our own perception means little to another person unless they agree with it of course.  But in any conflict another persons view is often the start of any objection or negativity towards another.

Seek first to understand why the feel that way, or think that way. Listen with a sense that they have a right to that opinion.  But be aware that opinion's are like _______ (you know the rest).  Rated G post here...... LOL.

But if we want to have our opinion's understood or heard and have any input on the matter we have to seek to understand another persons view first.  I know it takes a little time, but is conflict a time waster?  Is hatred and energy drainer? Is love the mender of all?

Some things to think upon the next time you start to get in any conflict.

Listen....

Think....

Understand....

Share....

Smile....

Move on if you must....

Not a bad way to stay out of conflict, and in life would we not rather share in the good and not waste our energy on the less productive.

Enjoy your day and keep those smiles shared :)

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Make ME Smile Online

www.makemesmileonline.com

The ME is really all about YOU! Join today !

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Stand out in a sea of frowns and Make a Difference

Take Charge Tuesday *New* ~June 28, 2011

Happy Tuesday everyone and welcome to another fresh start day, yesterday is history, tomorrow is the mystery and today is indeed a gift that is why its call the present. I know you have heard this before but do you give it the sincere meaning that it portrays?

I write each day around the same time, birds are chirping, and the fresh start of a new day is all around me. I write with the thought of just one person who has that moment of ah ha and it lifts their spirit or puts a smile on their face then indeed this is a success. I hope that one person is you.  I hope that if you found these posts helpful that you will print and share or email and contribute to another persons smile or ah ha moment.

Sunday I wrote about the wasted energy in anger or jealousy and yesterday I typed out the importance of never quitting and staying in motion, moving not just sitting still but putting effort and thought into each move that we make.

Today the post is about taking thought and taking charge of our thoughts and more important our current beliefs of the spirit that embodies us.

First a quote that I hope will start to frame these thoughts:

Only those who look with the

eyes of children can lose themselves

in the object of their wonder.

~Eberhard Arnold

The eye of a child sees purity, no limits, no preconceived notions or thoughts of how this will end.  They look at the world with wonder and awe of the possibility. The crawl to find out whats over there or in there or how far can they go before they find something new.

They of course do stumble and fall but they get right back to the task and continue on their quest. The eyes of a child does not let any history of failure slow down their imagination.  They color and draw with wild abandonment at first until we tell them they should color with in the lines. We show them the color blue is for sky and green is for grass. We teach them the word no and start that ever so slow process that starts to turn of the imagination for fear that another no or yell comes their way.

Why do we do that ? To protect and serve, because our life was built upon those foundations?  Perhaps, but in fact the reason we do this many times is that we don't want them to fail and delay their progress.  We don't want others to think unkindly that they have so much wonder and perhaps be perceived as a lack of focus in their day. Like we should really care what others think or what society has placed within our parenting rights.

Should we close out the wonder of a child?  Never

Do we at times?  Probably

Has that dictated our destiny in any way?

Do we still look through the eyes of a child?

Perhaps the problems of life takes its toll over time and wears us down but indeed the past is history and tomorrow is the mystery so focus on right now.  Right now what are you saying to you?

Right now what do you believe about you?

Right now what can you take charge over that will make a difference for not only you but the others that you care about.

Take charge, not just on Tuesday mind you but take charge everyday for those moments will empower you to not only move in the direction that you choose.  But those moments will perhaps place the eye of the child where is should be with in your spirit and soul.

Look at life with awe and wonder, it awaits you just outside your window or door.  Take that first step and look at all that nature provides for you.  Breathe it in and understand that the gift lies in front of you, the present awaits us all.

Have a great day and as always smiles sent your way : )

A video from Jim Rohn part 3 of Taking Charge, enjoy

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Make ME Smile Online

www.makemesmileonline.com

The ME is really all about YOU! Join today !

***************

Stand out in a sea of frowns and Make a Difference