The day after your daughter spreads her wings and leaves the nest, the reflections, the adjustments.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times;
it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness;
it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity;
it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness;
it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair;
we had everything before us, we had nothing before us"
~ A Tale of Two Cities ~ Charles Dickens
A sigh let out and the fingers move across the keyboard as the last few days are reflected upon. A single father of a 19 year old daughter reflects and ponders on the next hour. The 19 yr old flies off to south east Texas to join her soon to be 17 year old brother and mother, a new chapter for unfolds.
I call it the best seat in the house the last 9 years, as I had the honor and privilege of being a father and watched her turn into a young, beautiful and smart woman.
Both children I love deeply but my son grew up much of his young life with my ex-wife, mother of both. He is also a young, handsome and smart teenager soon to be joining our armed forces and I am so very proud of him. He celebrates his 17th birthday next Friday as his sister celebrated her 19th birthday 11 days ago here with me and friends.
The day was coming as she announced that she would be moving to Texas, I knew this for a few months.
I was filled with many emotions, sadness of course the most. I was starting the journey of the 5 stages of grief and I knew little how they would hit me as the months passed by.
I shared hockey games and dined with her and she stated "I wanted to see a hockey game and you took me to many." I have a way of doing that.
The day before she was to leave and the last day of her high school experience I picked her up at her job at the same elementary school that I enrolled her in all those years before.
She had the same stride and skip in her step as she did all those years ago just a little wider and faster. I greeted her with flowers as I did on the day of her graduation last year. Last years bouquet red roses and baby breath and this year yellow roses and flowers of purple and others that blended so well. The yellow rose of Texas and her favorite colors blended in well.
The day was so very hard for me. I had a heavy curtain of sadness as the final day was here. I likened the feeling and describe it this way A tall glass of water in a glass so clear that the water just hangs at the rim and a drop would cause it to overflow. Well the day started with a storm of emotion and the storm poured down on my glass and overcame it did. A storm that I knew was coming but was not prepared for.
How do you express the 9 years into words, flowers and a card can not do it, a stuffed dog in a gift bag can't do it. No words at a restaurant over a meal are enough. Not nearly enough.
I gave all the advice I could think of.
Be nice to your brother, be kind to others, listen to a potential boyfriend but watch his actions with even more attention. Those matter the most. Don't every quit, don't let your smile fade and always laugh a little everyday. Love always even when its hard. Be filled with adventure, dream and watch those dreams come true with action and plans. Stay hungry and stay foolish and let life unfold on your terms. One final word always know that I love you.
The trip to the airport was hard but acceptance was starting to creep in and as I watched her board the plane I told her good bye, told her again I love you and lastly thank you for being my best friend and daughter. Her wings spread as did the plane and on this chilly sunny day the plane taxied away and off into the sky.
I spoke with my ex her mom and we chatted with kindness and mutual respect as we often did. I told her we both did a great job with both of our kids. The are uniquely different and both are so very awesome, bright and good looking. Both are kind and both have common sense and both have a unique way of getting through life. A couple proud parents talking and reflecting as the plane heads west.
I pulled away from the parking lot, paid the parking fee and went east back to work as the silent adjustments unfold.
Do I still feel some sadness, sure I do but a sense of pride and a heart filled with love will allow that water to pour out into the past as I live for today and adjust for tomorrow.
May your quiet reflections and silent adjustments be filled with pride and love and a smile on your face.
God Bless and Smiles sent your way .
Victor V. Yakin
www.makemesmileonline.com