Welcome to Wednesday everyone! Only 9 days to go and in many ways the rush is on for that last minute holiday gift. Fruit cakes are waiting on those shelves for that last minute what do I get for ...... fill in the blank.
What are those little green things in fruit cake anyway...... Just kidding....
So how about some Wednesday Wit.....
What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa Claus caught in a revolving door.
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Where does mistletoe go to become rich and famous?
Holly - Wood.
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Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey of course he is always stuffed.
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Rule for Dogs at Christmas
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:
a. Don't pee on the tree
b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree
c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree
d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open
e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:
a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
b. Don't eat off the buffet table
c. Beg for goodies subtly
d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:
a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)
b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house
c. Tolerate children
d. Turn on your charm big time
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.
DON'T BITE HIM!!
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Uses for that Holiday Fruit Cake
1. Bury them in the back yard for future archaeologists to discover.
2. Give them to your son for a science project
3. Hang on to it to find out if there REALLY is more than one Fruitcake that’s making it’s rounds every year.
4. Use it to hold up a broken table or chair leg.
5. Mash them down and use for mortar when building a log cabin.
6. Use as exercise stepping block for step aerobics.
7. Makes a wonderful dessert for Road Kill Cafe fare.
8. Use them to pave the freeways with. Just place them on the road and run a steamroller over them.
9. Use them as fillers to repair the river levees with! They last indefinitely and are so dense, water can never penetrate them.
10. Last and probably least, try eating it! Hey! It’s one way to get rid of it!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have a great Wednesday everyone hope you have a great day!
Till next time.....Smile it will brighten up someones day!
www make me smile online dot com
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